The Poetess’s Recollection of Her Childhood in Her Grandmother’s House
The poetess recalls the house where she once used to live with her grandmother who was quite fond of her and from whom she used to receive a lot of love. The grandmother had died; and the house had then ceased to be inhabited by anybody. The poetess was in those days a little girl and did not even know how to read the books which lay in the house. The death of her grandmother had robbed the little girl of her capacity to feel. It had seemed to her that the blood in her veins was no longer warm but had turned cold, as cold as the moon.
The Deserted House After the Grandmother’s Death
The poetess now often thinks of going to that house in order to look at the things inside it through the windows; but the windows being closed she would not be able to see anything lying inside, and would be able only to experience a feeling of utter hopeless, and then to gather some of the darkness from that place and bring it with her to her bedroom where she would merely lie down to meditate upon her memories of the past.
The poetess’s Desperate Need of Love
Addressing her husband, Kamala Das says that he would perhaps not be able to believe that she had lived in such a house, had felt proud of herself, and had received the love of someone (namely her grandmother). She tells her life and because she no longer receives any love from anybody. Now she seeks love like a beggar from strangers; and she would feel consoled even if she gets a small measure of love from somebody.